When I woke up there was two men holding me down and I could feel one of the men’s silky soft smooth beard runing down my spine. Then as the barber-surgeon got closer my vision got better and I started to see this sharp silver knife. Then they stuffed a bottle of rum in my mouth. Then put a wet bandage in my mouth and the barber surrgeon scraped the silver knife on my skin “Ahhhhh.”
Today I was up on the crows nest and the ship was going from side to side all of a sudden I fell off so then I had to go to the barber surgen Peter. I had to sit down, drink some rum then bite something. people had to hold me down while the barber surgeon cut my leg off. After that I can hardly do anything so then I kept on geting told of for a while today becuase I couldn’t do much. The captain found out I had been to the barber sergon and ot my leg cut of so then I had dinner. I had some dride biscits with magets in it.
Tools of the Barber-Surgeon's trade from the wreck of the Mary Rose
Yesterday was my first day at sea. It was horrible. As soon as I got up from bed I could smell the bilge which put me straight off my appetite. After that I crept up the steps and as soon as I got to the top of the stairs the captain yelled at me, “you there, up the crow’s nest’.
Slowly I climbed the rigging and hid as the ship swayed from side to side, till the bosun yeld at me “what can you see from up there boy.” Slowly I got up and scanned the horizon. Suddenly I spotted a Spanish flag flying and yelled “Spanish flag.” Constantly shouting orders below as I hid in the crow’s nest, suddenly somebody yelled “get down from there boy, we need all the men we’ve got.”
Dear Master Builder,
Please build me a house with:
- A whipping post outside for my naughty servants
- A flushing toilet so my house does not smell of horrible dung
- A staircase with monsters carved in it.
- A metre metre long gllery covered in my coat of arms and a lovely portrait of myself.
- A lovely ceiling for my dining room with complicated patterns.
- Two chandeliers in every room.
This morning I was on duty when I saw Bill ASLEEP! I saw the bosun coming up behind. A few minutes later I was flogging Bill with the cat o’nine. I can hear the screaming as I’m writing. Next Captain Fiddler threw the water onto him. It was terrible. Conditionas are terrible with dried biscuits with maggots and mouldy water for breakfast. I had to empty the poo buckets and climb the rigging to go to the crow’s nest in the stormiest weather.
A few hours later in a countries port we were collecting stores and then I saw a fight between between two men for some pork. Must be drunk I thought.
On board the ship Captain Fiddler said the place he was going to call New England. Now I have to go to bed before my duty.
I had been dangling over the drop for an hour. I was like a light turning on and off as I was drifting in and out of consciousness. I was thinking about my family and all the good times. I thought how many lives Siula Grande has claimed. Siula Grande, a bringer of death. I could hear the wind whistling and groaning. I could taste the bitterness on the wind, there was very little oxygen because we were very high up. I sniffed the fresh and bitter air, I felt a thrill of adrenalin.
Many mountains ago in a place that we now call Egypt the world was a happy and joyful place. God was happy with his wonderful creations and was sure his world was fine until one day. Let me tell you about it.
God was peering down on the world when he suddenly realised that animals couldn’t talk. So he created a boy named Anthony to do it. He ordered him to collect 3 beanstalk stems, the longest petal from the tallest sunflower and a drop of water from the river nile and chop them. Anthony drew a circle in the ground and sprinkled the ingredients about the circle and a roaring fire suddenly appeared. Every month an animal could step in and talk. It was the otter first, the bat, the frog and cheetah. Until one was left, the meerkat. But there was no fire left. The animals knew they must ask god for fire.
The beaver threw a message up and so did chipmunk, but no animal actually spoke apart from Anthony. God realised this and banned animals from speaking and gave humans fire.
And that’s why animals can’t speak today.