The other Phoebe’s ‘Touching the Void’ story

The never-ending silence threatened to cut me up and eat me alive. I dangled over the mountain like a dead tuna fish on an old fishing line, it felt like I was about about to fall. My leg was hurting so much it was like a thousand icicles in my leg. The freezing cold wind whipped at me like a frost devil waving around. The avalanche whipped me like a wild horse forced to go faster. Every second a gust of frost poured over me. It was like the wind was really raging with anger.

A few seconds later I shouted to Simon to try and pull me up. He shouted back I can’t. Then Simon remembered that he had an ice-pick in his bag. It took an age for him to get it out but he found it.He was holding all my weight. I kept saying pull me up, help. Then the next thing I knew I was falling down the mountain!!!!!  I couldn’t believe it, my own friend cut me. Suddenly I landed with a big bbbbbuuuuummmmmmppppppppp. I was alive.

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3 responses to “The other Phoebe’s ‘Touching the Void’ story

  1. Well done Phoebe (The other one!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

  2. Well this is so exciting! How the tension raises in just the first 2 or 3 lines, amazing, I could never do that. Well, I could build the tension, but not in the first few lines like you did, amazing. Well done the other Phoebe, which ever one that is? Is it Phoebe Da or Phoebe Do. I don’t know and I never will. But well done anyway!

  3. This is great it has great use of suspense at the end

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