Dear Mum and Dad,
The Sergeant doesn’t like me much. When I signed up, I had no idea he would wage war on all of us like he has! I’ve only been here for one week, and already I miss you! Up at 5 doing press-ups, by 6 it’s giving me a headache. How are things going for you? Dad, I now know how to behave, I’m sorry I misbehaved.You’re so much softer than the sergeant. Even the white feather is better than this. How’s business? I know how I disappointed you when I stopped working with you.
Mum, I miss your cooking so much, the food here is disgusting! How’s the cat? You were right, my friends were right, why would anyone EVER want to join the army? I was being so thick, I should’ve listened. The stew is stringy and the sergeant is shouty!
For both of you, the corned beef is the worst thing I’ve ever tasted.
Love you loads,