Evie’s Imaginary Diary of a Tudor Sailor

Dear Diary,

Today was one of the best days of my life! The day I finally got revenge on Jim, who leaves lice in the bed.

I woke up at dawn, as usual. It wasn’t until about two minutes that I realised Jim was looming over me, nits practically falling off him and onto me.

I jumped out of my hammock and grabbed a scrubbing brush, as I was beginning to feel itchy. Upstairs I cleaned the deck long and hard until it sparkled.

Next I went up to the crow’s nest and when I came down, I heard some shouting from below deck. Cautiously clambering down I realised Jim had overslept!

I hoped the punishment was bad. Finally payback for all those times when I couldn’t get to sleep because I was scratching & scratching. Naturally I was overjoyed when I was asked to take part in a keel hauling, during a large helping of mouldy biscuits and maggots. Mmmmm, my favourite!

As soon as lunch was finished, I hurried to the ropes. I wanted to be at the front, so I could see Jim’s face as he got nearer and nearer to drowning. Hooray, I couldn’t wait.

Finally it was time. I took great pleasure in banging his head on the bottom of the boat, scratching it on the barnacles. It was worth sleeping in a bed full of lice, just to do this! If only the water was shark-infested. If only, if only.

tudor ship

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